10.11.12.1

Thing is, it took me so much to write this. It’s been a while since I wrote about you, funny how you probably won’t get that this is about and for you. Because you’re the kind of boy that is very slow to catch this things or you pretend to be. Anyways, I don’t really want to figure it out anymore. 

Know that I’m only writing this to close a cicle.

I understood that when we like someone we become blind. We don’t see anything wrong, we see the person as perfect. We defend them by saying “oh it is just the way he is.”

But, the truth is that deep down we know it’s not right. I used to be like that with you. I was so blind by you. 

Took me months to get over the fact that a “we” was never going to happen. It made me sad and angry at myself. 

We could say I lost a part of me back then. I didn’t want to see how different we were.

Had many nights of wonder why, now I can say i understand it. I’m happy things turned out like this. 

I see that our differences would have make me imposible to stay with you. I wanted something you could not give me.

Meeting you helped me as experience to know what I really look out for. I don’t want to be half loved. I want to be fully loved. 

I wish for the day you like someone the way i did it with you, and I hope that person likes you back. I ask for you to have a healthy and prosper life.

My heart is calm now; so please don’t look out for me.

[Wrote this a long time ago, didn’t feel like posting it until now.]

Remember everything you read here comes from my own head, not everything is about someone, sometimes I just like to read prompts and wrote about them. 

If you read this, have a great start of 2018! Let’s make it better than the last year.

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Él tenía la habilidad de destrozarme con dos palabras. Que a muchos hubieran alegrado pero a mi, que sabia el significado de ellas, me provocaban tristeza.

Él no era malo, pero sus acciones en parte me lastimaban. Yo era una tonta con la vista nublada, del cariño que le tenía. 

Mi mente me decía que me alejara, pero mi corazón me impedía hacerlo. Hubiera vuelto a tomar la misma decisión una y otra vez. Con tal de ver su cara sonriente hacia mi, con tal de saber que era tenerlo cerca así, con tal de escucharlo decirme esas palabras. 

Con tal de tener sus ojos en mi, y pensar que creía que era la más linda que había visto, que aceptaba como era y que me hacia querer superarme para mi bien.

Él es un tormento para mi mente, me tiene por las nubes feliz pero en segundos me regresa a la tierra en un golpe seco cuando recuerdo nuestra realidad.

Él me quiso pero no como yo lo quise, y no sé si eso fue lo que me mató al final, si saber que me quería o el que no lo haría como yo lo hacía.